MARCH OF THE PIG:  SLOW ROASTED COCOA SPICE PORK SHOULDER WITH BLEEDING HEART BEET RELISH + LOVE LETTER TO THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

It was the summer of 1994. I had just graduated middle school, and used the money I had received for my birthday to buy The Downward Spiral on cassette from the music store at my suburban strip mall. These were the olden days. There were no music streaming services. The internet had barely begun and had not yet made its way into my family’s home. I had no idea what it would sound like. But the singles that had been released thus far resonated with me, and I felt confident taking the risk of investing in the album. 

I came home and slipped the cassette out of its stylish and arty slipcase – a design move I had never seen before that made me feel like I was about to experience something very special. I opened the hard plastic case, unfolded the booklet of lyrics, put the cassette into my Walkman, lay down on my bed, and listened for the first time to what would become my favorite album of all time.

Middle school was a difficult time for me, your typical story of an awkward girl with acne who desperately wanted to be accepted by the popular kids but was excluded and made fun of at every turn. I was angry, full of hurt, sadness, and longing, and The Downward Spiral was everything I needed to validate and work through feelings I had but didn’t know how to articulate. I listened to it incessantly. Trent Reznor became my hero, and The Downward Spiral became a part of me. 

I had no friends except for my older sister. She would sometimes take me joyriding, all the windows rolled down, blasting “Heresy” while driving in circles around the parking lot of our suburb’s catholic church. She was my partner in NIN love, and we spent many late nights together that summer stalking MTV in the hope that they would play the “Closer” video while I drew pictures of Trent Reznor and burned incense. 

She bought us tickets for the Self Destruct tour. The concert date would be the Saturday following my first week of high school, and I could not wait. My anticipation for the concert blended with my anticipation for high school – an opportunity to begin again as a new person among new people, slightly more empowered because of how this music had changed me. 

The concert was the most exciting thing that had ever happened at that point in my isolated and sheltered suburban teen life. I had managed to worm my way to the front of the stage during the opening acts, and found myself cozily nestled in the squirming push and pull of bodies fighting to be closer as the stage filled with fog and my hero materialized behind a semi-transparent silken curtain, not quite there but almost, clutching himself and writhing in sublimely gothic fashion to the instrumental tune of “Pinion.” I was spellbound. As they launched into “Mr. Self Destruct,” the gauzy veil between worlds lifted, Trent began to sing, and I found myself surrounded by people screaming out lyrics I had spent the entire summer falling in love with, and knew by heart. At one point, Trent took a swig out of a water bottle, launched it at the audience, and I caught it. I slept it with it crushed against my pillow for several months afterwards.

That night was nearly 25 years ago, and The Downward Spiral is still as dear to me as ever. I’ve changed, my taste in music has changed, and the album has grown and changed with me. It has come to represent different things to me during the different stages and struggles of my life, a polestar of self-realization to return to again and again. As a work of art, it continues to astonish and surprise me. New layers of sound, texture, and intensity continue to bloom through the mix that I had never noticed before. New layers of meaning continue to reveal themselves through the lyrics. My appreciation for its melodic and percussive complexity grows deeper. Trent’s young, alternately screamy and silken voice still sends the sweetest of arrows through my heart. Its gifts are endless. It will forever be a warm place.

RECIPE: SLOW ROASTED COCOA SPICE PORK SHOULDER WITH BLEEDING HEART BEET RELISH

BITE, CHEW, SUCK (AWAY THE TENDER PARTS)

Pigs are a recurring motif throughout TDS, as well as the “Closer” video, and this Slow Roasted Cocoa Spice Pork Shoulder and its associated imagery is my culinary love letter to NIN. It’s one of those dishes you can just throw into the oven and forget about for hours on end while you turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream, perhaps while settling in for a nice long intentional listening session of The Downward Spiral.

RECIPE NOTES

If you have time, marinate the pork in the spice blend the night before to allow the flavors to thoroughly penetrate the flesh. Your butcher should place the meat in bondage for you, but if they don’t, take the fun upon yourself and truss it up in cooking twine – it will keep the roast from falling to pieces in the oven. And be sure not to skip out on pan searing all six sides of exposed flesh – it locks in the juices and creates a caramelized crust of meat confectionary which, upon being pierced, yields a luscious sea of creamy, tender pork that you can swirl your fork through like fondue.

INGREDIENTS

FOR THE PORK (yields 8-10 servings)

4-5 lbs (112-140 g) pork shoulder 

1.5 tsp fine pink Himalayan salt

3 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

2 tsp smoked paprika

1 tsp ground coriander 

2 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp chipotle powder

2 tsp cinnamon 

1-2 tbsp avocado oil (or other high heat stable oil)

INSTRUCTIONS

Mix the salt and spices together in a small bowl or cup, and then rub it all over the meat. Finish by rubbing in 1-2 tablespoons of avocado oil to help the spices adhere to the flesh and allow the flavors to infuse. Marinate overnight if possible, or for at least 4 hours.

Preheat oven to 300F (150C).

Preheat dutch oven, lid off, on stove top over medium heat. 

Once hot, pan sear all six sides of flesh over medium heat for 5 minutes at a time, using tongs and a turner to rotate. 

Put the lid on, and throw it into the oven for 4 hours. Meat should have an internal temperature of 160F (71C) and be fork tender.

Remove from oven and allow meat to rest for 15 minutes before diving in and shredding it to pieces. Serve with Bleeding Heart Beet Relish.

RECIPE: BLEEDING HEART BEET RELISH

(STAINS LIKE THE BLOOD ON YOUR TEETH)

RECIPE NOTES

This fresh, bright, and tangy relish is a refreshing complement to the richness of the pork. I use yacon syrup in my recipe because it is low in fructose and I am very sensitive to sugar (not in a good way). Yacon syrup is expensive, so feel free to replace it with honey if sugar doesn’t mess with you.

INGREDIENTS

10 oz fresh raw beetroot

1 oz fresh horseradish, peeled

3 tbsp apple cider vinegar

1 tbsp yacon syrup (or honey)

Seeds from 1 pomegranate

Fresh cilantro

INSTRUCTIONS

Grate beets and horseradish with a box grater. If you have a Cuisinart or some other food processor with a grater attachment, use that because it’s way easier. 

Once grated, throw into a bowl and toss with apple cider vinegar and yacon syrup or honey. 

Allow to sit for at least 1 hour prior to serving. Serve alongside pulled pork, and finish with a romantic scattering of pomegranate seeds and chopped cilantro.

Leftovers will keep in the fridge for about 3 days.